They were just
friends. She kept telling herself. The chant ran through her head over and over
again, as she watched him, inconspicuously, beneath swept eyelashes.
Watching him lean back on the couch, his body relaxed and a smile curved on his lips, she closed her eyes shakily. Opening them again, her eyes were drawn to his mouth.
She wondered what it would be like to feel his lips against her. What would it feel like to have his mouth moulding hers, his tongue thrusting…She shook her head, wishing she could banish the thoughts running through her mind.
Inwardly she groaned. Why now? Why was she feeling all those intense desire? Taking a gulp of the wine, her grip on the glass stem was so tight; she wouldn’t have been surprised if she had broken it.
Her body hummed with feelings she hadn’t felt for in a long time. She moved restlessly against where she sat on her side of the couch, her eyes returning to the movie.
She couldn’t prevent the sigh that escaped from her, at the absent touch of his hand rubbing against her leg. Tearing her eyes from the movie again, she studied their positions. She sat on one side of the couch and he sat on the other. He had his legs stretched out in front of him, resting solidly on the coffee table. Her legs were resting across his. It was a move that they had repeated time and time again, but usually in closer proximity. She didn’t know what it was about tonight, but she knew that something was different. She wished she know what.
She just knew she was more aware of the man sitting beside her than she had ever been in her life. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Suddenly she liked what she saw and she didn’t know what to do.
Her eyes skimmed over his face, her lips curving into a smile at the enjoyment he was getting from the slapstick comedy. She could still remember the first time she saw him. Her first impressions of him had been less than desirable. He had been too intense, too larger than life and he'd terrified her. She’d found herself uncomfortable in his presence, filling out the lapses of silence with endless chatter. Anything to avoid the way he watched her, a secret smile on his lips, as if he knew something she didn’t and found it amusing.
Unable to help herself, she let her gaze slide from his face to his body. He had a killer body. She’d always liked looking at him. He was all lean muscle. But it wasn’t just the outside that drew her to him. It was his inner beauty.
After she had lost the man who had been the love of her life, he had been there. He had held her up when she was down. He had let her cry on him when she had just needed to cry. He had supported her through every insane decision she had made. He had listened to her tentative decision to date again; let her voice her fears that she was making the right choice.
He had gone from being a man who left her on edge; too aware of him and not yet willing to understand why, to becoming her confidante; a man she could speak to easily about anything and everything. She didn’t want to lose that. She couldn’t lose that.
She closed her eyes again. This was why she had to stop thinking about him that way. She had to stop wondering what it would feel like to have his mouth on hers, his body on hers. Every dirty fantasy that played out in her mind could never become a reality. She could not risk losing what they had together. He was her best friend. He was the only one who understood the pain and who could keep the demons at bay.
Her heart constricted at the thought of losing all of this. Risking it all and gaining nothing in return but a moment of craziness was just not worth it. She couldn’t even begin to think of the ramifications if it ended badly for both of them.
She frowned, her attention straying towards the movie. She was letting her thoughts get ahead of her. He didn’t even want her that way. He would never seen her anyway other than what she really was- a family connection and a friend.
She smiled when she felt him lace his fingers through hers, looking at him. Her smile faltered when she realized he was watching her, his expression hooded. She’d noticed him watching her a lot lately. She wondered what he was thinking. The thought slipped out and he just smiled at her.
It was a smile she recognized well. The- I know but I am not going to tell you-smile. She always had the urge to wipe that smile off his face. She briefly thought of the ways she could do so before closing her eyes again. She needed to get laid. That was the only reason she was thinking the way she was. It was why she’d suddenly developed a healthy interest in his body. That was it. It had nothing to do with the fact he was gorgeous.
She was startled out of her reverie, when he leant over and pulled her closer to him. She tried to ignore her pounding heart, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
Those attracted to one another did not kiss the top of one’s head, an act that resembled of a parent to a child. It did nothing to soothe her raging hormones. It was bad enough she had the sudden urge to pounce on him and ravage him on the spot. Tilting her head, she closed her eyes when he rested his chin on the top of her head, his fingers sliding soothingly down her spine.
She had drunk way too much wine tonight, she conceded. That was the real reason her head was spinning. Feeling him move, she opened her eyes, tilting her head even more and her lips opening slightly when she realized she was staring straight into his eyes and there was no mistaking what she could read there.
Desire.
She gulped; her mouth dry even as she realized he was going to kiss her. Seconds later she felt his mouth on hers and she knew nothing was going to be the same between them ever again.
Watching him lean back on the couch, his body relaxed and a smile curved on his lips, she closed her eyes shakily. Opening them again, her eyes were drawn to his mouth.
She wondered what it would be like to feel his lips against her. What would it feel like to have his mouth moulding hers, his tongue thrusting…She shook her head, wishing she could banish the thoughts running through her mind.
Inwardly she groaned. Why now? Why was she feeling all those intense desire? Taking a gulp of the wine, her grip on the glass stem was so tight; she wouldn’t have been surprised if she had broken it.
Her body hummed with feelings she hadn’t felt for in a long time. She moved restlessly against where she sat on her side of the couch, her eyes returning to the movie.
She couldn’t prevent the sigh that escaped from her, at the absent touch of his hand rubbing against her leg. Tearing her eyes from the movie again, she studied their positions. She sat on one side of the couch and he sat on the other. He had his legs stretched out in front of him, resting solidly on the coffee table. Her legs were resting across his. It was a move that they had repeated time and time again, but usually in closer proximity. She didn’t know what it was about tonight, but she knew that something was different. She wished she know what.
She just knew she was more aware of the man sitting beside her than she had ever been in her life. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Suddenly she liked what she saw and she didn’t know what to do.
Her eyes skimmed over his face, her lips curving into a smile at the enjoyment he was getting from the slapstick comedy. She could still remember the first time she saw him. Her first impressions of him had been less than desirable. He had been too intense, too larger than life and he'd terrified her. She’d found herself uncomfortable in his presence, filling out the lapses of silence with endless chatter. Anything to avoid the way he watched her, a secret smile on his lips, as if he knew something she didn’t and found it amusing.
Unable to help herself, she let her gaze slide from his face to his body. He had a killer body. She’d always liked looking at him. He was all lean muscle. But it wasn’t just the outside that drew her to him. It was his inner beauty.
After she had lost the man who had been the love of her life, he had been there. He had held her up when she was down. He had let her cry on him when she had just needed to cry. He had supported her through every insane decision she had made. He had listened to her tentative decision to date again; let her voice her fears that she was making the right choice.
He had gone from being a man who left her on edge; too aware of him and not yet willing to understand why, to becoming her confidante; a man she could speak to easily about anything and everything. She didn’t want to lose that. She couldn’t lose that.
She closed her eyes again. This was why she had to stop thinking about him that way. She had to stop wondering what it would feel like to have his mouth on hers, his body on hers. Every dirty fantasy that played out in her mind could never become a reality. She could not risk losing what they had together. He was her best friend. He was the only one who understood the pain and who could keep the demons at bay.
Her heart constricted at the thought of losing all of this. Risking it all and gaining nothing in return but a moment of craziness was just not worth it. She couldn’t even begin to think of the ramifications if it ended badly for both of them.
She frowned, her attention straying towards the movie. She was letting her thoughts get ahead of her. He didn’t even want her that way. He would never seen her anyway other than what she really was- a family connection and a friend.
She smiled when she felt him lace his fingers through hers, looking at him. Her smile faltered when she realized he was watching her, his expression hooded. She’d noticed him watching her a lot lately. She wondered what he was thinking. The thought slipped out and he just smiled at her.
It was a smile she recognized well. The- I know but I am not going to tell you-smile. She always had the urge to wipe that smile off his face. She briefly thought of the ways she could do so before closing her eyes again. She needed to get laid. That was the only reason she was thinking the way she was. It was why she’d suddenly developed a healthy interest in his body. That was it. It had nothing to do with the fact he was gorgeous.
She was startled out of her reverie, when he leant over and pulled her closer to him. She tried to ignore her pounding heart, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
Those attracted to one another did not kiss the top of one’s head, an act that resembled of a parent to a child. It did nothing to soothe her raging hormones. It was bad enough she had the sudden urge to pounce on him and ravage him on the spot. Tilting her head, she closed her eyes when he rested his chin on the top of her head, his fingers sliding soothingly down her spine.
She had drunk way too much wine tonight, she conceded. That was the real reason her head was spinning. Feeling him move, she opened her eyes, tilting her head even more and her lips opening slightly when she realized she was staring straight into his eyes and there was no mistaking what she could read there.
Desire.
She gulped; her mouth dry even as she realized he was going to kiss her. Seconds later she felt his mouth on hers and she knew nothing was going to be the same between them ever again.
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