Dealing with an Unsupportive Support System

Every writer has the ideal dream of what their life should be like. They'd get published and an agent with their first submission and they'd have a group of people who support them unconditionally. It's a nice dream, but the reality is that it's just a dream.

One of the toughest decision to make is for a writer to come out and tell the people around them they want to write a novel. Most of us keep it inside us, like a dark secret, yearning to burst out. The idea of sharing your feelings about words with family, friends and even work colleagues burns deep inside.

In an ideal world, you'd have unlimited support from all of them. In an ideal world your parents will clasp their hands together with joy and say "Oh darling, how wonderful. You go ahead and write. Don't you worry your pretty head about such things as bills, food, rent and supporting yourself to live. Just write your heart out. We will support you in everything you do and we're proud of you."

Now, I'm not saying there aren't parents out there who might say this. I just don't know any writers who have experienced this with their family. In fact most of my writer friends, in confessing their writing ambitions to their families, have been given looks of amusement. Amusement or horror.

When I first decided I wanted to be a writer, I told my parents and got the response, "Oh why don't you be a Psychologist. It pays so much better." This was even before I decided to write fiction. This was the response I got when I told them I wanted to be a Journalist.
When I announced I was going to try my hand at novels, I got a look of horror and then the response, "You're not serious are you? When are you going to grow up and realise writing is just a pipedream?"

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and they have supported me in almost everything else I've done, just not writing. They just don't get it and they never will. The same goes for my non-writer friends. None of them understand the desire to sit at home on a Friday night and write.
So, you ask, what do you do when you have an unsupportive support system? It's easy, you find writers alike who are going to support you.

As a writer, there are a lot of communities out there willing to support you and you can meet some amazing people through it. I met a lot of my writer friends through writing courses, but have also made a whole heap of online friends through communities and social media.

I've met wonderful fellow writers through twitter who support me and are there for me to message when my novel isn't going right or just to bitch about everyday life. Both twitter and facebook are a great way to meet other writers - not just to share ideas and thoughts with, but just for the amazing support you're going to get from them.

Join a writing critique group. It's a great way to build a support system as well as get your writing out to be critiqued. You get some amazing feedback, help in buieveloping your novel and its characters and meet some wonderful people in the process.

Nanowrimo sit-ins during November are another way to get out, socialise and write. I've made a group of friends through nanowrimo I couldn't imagine not having in my life now.

As much as writing is a solitary road - one we often feel no one can understand (unless of course you are also a writer), we still need people to bounce our ideas off and writers, editors and anyone in the creative world are the perfect addition.

You're always going to have friends and family who support you because they love you and care about you. Yes, they're going to criticize and even think you're chasing gold at the end of a rainbow. That's OK. I'm not saying ditch them and surround yourself solely by writers.

What I am saying is to fill that unsupportive support system with like-minded writers who get why you are driven to write and actually understand your desire to stay home on Friday nights to write.
They will balance you out, and make you feel good when you've been pulled down and sucked down by the negative energies around you.

Of course, another way to deal with an unsupportive support system is to write like crazy, and become even more determined to kick the world in the ass and show everyone your writing talents. Nothing says I told you so like a published novel, an awesome agent and the ability to make your dream a reality.